ladyapple27: (Default)
gipsydreamer's post about Jehovah's Witnesses reminded me of an encounter I had with them many years ago. I was getting ready to leave for work and let them in the house before I realized that they were on a mission to save my soul. Because they were polite, I didn't want to physically remove them, but they just wouldn't leave, and I was going to be late. My cat, Smoke, came to the rescue. She jumped up on the coffee table and noisily coughed up a huge, disgusting hairball. Gagging, my visitors ran for the door. Their spirits were willing, but their bodies couldn't take any more.  
ladyapple27: (Default)
I recently had to get in contact with customer service, and was routed to a call center in India. The service rep was very nice, but spoke such heavily accented English that I was having serious trouble understanding him. He kept trying to tell me something, and I kept having to ask him to repeat it. Finally, I understood. He was trying to tell me that he couldn't understand me because of my  Southern accent. I had a good laugh, and was eventually routed to someone who could translate Southern Appalachian speech. 
ladyapple27: (Default)
I worked as a waitress when I was younger. One night, I hadn't made a lot of tips when one of my favorite customers, a very good tipper, came in. He usually came with friends, but he brought his wife that time. Once the meal was over, I watched him slide a tip under the plate, then walk to another table to speak to someone. His wife held back a step or 2 and reached under the plate, grabbed the tip, and put it in her pocket without her husband seeing. The cook was watching with amusement and told me that the look on my face was priceless.

When I got home and told my stepdad about it, he guffawed and said "It must have been her shopping money."
ladyapple27: (Default)
My friend Dick left early this morning to return home to Colby, Wisconsin. I'm gonna miss him.

I weeded my columbine bed. The plants have all come back for another year.

It was a beautiful day-80 degrees and sunny-so naturally I had an afternoon doctor's appointment.

The Doc gave me a scrip for prenatal vitamins because of a deficiency. (I'm not pregnant.) Nosy Nellie saw me pick up the prenatal vitimins and was dying to ask, so I told her that I was expecting twins. She has an intense love of gossip and brains that she has no idea how to use. (You can't call her mentally challenged; she could think if she wanted to.) Breathless with new gossip, Nellie called my aunt to inquire about the father. (Hey, she should've asked me; I would've been very creative and as shocking as possible.) My aunt immediately realized that I'd baited Nellie and burst out laughing. Nell isn't a popular gal.

My brother Kent's cat has an abcessed paw, and he was unwilling to spend the money, so I took the cat and footed the bill. I couldn't stand worrying about the poor thing.

I washed the 2 cat carriers that I foolishly lent to irresponsible people and gave Momma's dog a bath. In the morning, several critters have spay appointments.

Not a very exciting day.

It's only supposed to get up to 45 tomorrow.
ladyapple27: (Default)
I read a couple of posts that reminded me of raising chickens during my teenage years. My favorite chicken story-yep, I gotta fav chicken story-involves an avowed Christian lady from the big city who moved into the neighborhood. She saw my chickens do what comes naturally to chickens and assumed that I'd taught the chickens to dance and ride each other piggyback. I'm serious. She told my cousin about her preposterous theory, and he told her what the chickens were actually up to. Offended and alarmed, she came to my house and told me to teach the chickens to mate in private. Yes, I was supposed to teach the chickens to have sex inside the coop, away from her prying eyes, lest I go to Hell over the amorous display that the birds were putting on. To this day, I burst out laughing if I see her in public. I'm not trying to be rude; I can't help myself.


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