You should be grateful that I don't tweet!

I'm amazed at all of the people who get upset and insulting because I don't use twitter. I don't mind if they tweet, and it shouldn't bother them that I don't. Actually, the whole world should be grateful that I don't tweet. I'm an organic farmer and a cat lady. Imagine the twitter: "10:00-spreading manure, 10:30-Sassafras spit up a hairball..."

Honestly, my brain isn't wired for twitter. There's so much info coming at me from so many different people that I can't remember who sent what. I'd have to take notes to keep up with everything. As a matter of courtesy, I like to be able to tell one person from another. Constantly confusing people shows a lack of appreciation for them as individuals.

Also, I'm tough on portable electronic devices, so I usually leave them in a safe place whenever I'm busy with something which takes away from the immediacy of something like twitter or texting. I'm one of those "on task" people-I concentrate on the task at hand, so that I can finish up and go on to other things like leisurely communicating with people when I can give them the full attention that they deserve. It's just a different style, neither better nor worse than the multitasking thing.  

Overweight? It's all good-'cept the clothes!

Being overweight doesn't mean that you can't look good; it just takes a little more effort. The right clothes make all the difference. That said, I can't understand some of the plus size offerings that I encountered on a recent shopping trip. Pants low enough to let it all hang out and cropped tops. According to the saleslady, these are an attempt to allow plus sized people to dress like their slimmer friends. As a plump person, let me say that I don't need to dress like my skinny friends. I'd just look ridiculous. Another thing that looks ridiculous-the rhinestones and beads that designers feel compelled to put on larger size clothes. I don't want to be a disco ball! I've gained some weight, not lost my mind!

I'm losing weight now, but don't seem to have gained any brain cells in the process. If anything, the loud annoying music at the gym has killed a few brain cells. Maybe I'll soon be crazy enough to buy the latest hideous fad.

Vacuum the cat-not!

Sassafras the cat is shedding, and it reminds me of the most ridiculous gift I ever received-a vacuum cleaner attachment/comb designed to vacuum the loose hair as you comb a cat. The guy who bought this for me knew absolutely nothing about cats, except that they shed. Had it not been cruelty to felines, I would've invited him to try to get near one of my cats with a vacuum cleaner.